Now I know that lawyers must live, but I’ve never been able to understand why they have to live so blamed well!
I was born serious and I have earned my bread making other people laugh.
Never one thing and seldom one person can make for a success. It takes a number of them merging into one perfect whole.
That’s the unfortunate thing about death. It’s so terribly final.
Never shall I forget those naked, clean-swept little Canadian towns, one just like the other. Before I was twelve years old, I must have lived in fifty of them.
Fate cast me to play the role of an ugly duckling with no promise of swanning. . . . I have played my life as a comedy rather than the tragedy many would have made of it.
If there’s one thing I know, it’s men. I ought to. It’s been my life’s work.
My instinct has always been to turn drawbacks into drawing cards.
If ants are such busy workers, how come they find time to go to all the picnics?
the human heart clings – even to its pain.
No vice is so bad as advice.
I contend that every woman has the right to feel beautiful, no matter how scrambled her features, or how indifferent her features.
There is a vast difference between success at twenty-five and success at sixty. At sixty, nobody envies you. Instead, everybody rejoices generously, sincerely, in your good fortune.
I’ll have my double chins in privacy.
We have learned to take life seriously, but never ourselves.
Only a few things are really important.
I enjoy reading biographies because I want to know about the people who messed up the world.
There are very few persons who would think of inquiring into the private life of the newspaper dealer at the corner, or the druggist, or the doctor, or even a Mah Jong partner, but the moment one belongs to the theatrical profession, the public usually feels cheated unless it knows one’s inmost thoughts of love.
… the more you love what you do, the harder it is to do it well enough to get by yourself.
By the time we’ve hit fifty, we have learned our hardest lessons
It is not how old you are, but how you are old.
If a man is worth loving at all, he is worth loving generously, even recklessly.
To know that one has never really tried – that is the only death
The world doesn’t go around on love between men and women. Lovers get very little done. But friends do. When you are past middle life – and I hope you have the rich experience of love along the way – don’t think everything is all over. Don’t regret the vanished cocktail when the stuffed turkey is about to come in. Flip out your napkin and bite into it! Friends you can gather around you in the later years of life are worth the whole thing.
By the time we hit fifty, we have learned our hardest lessons. We have found out that only a few things are really important. We have learned to take life seriously, but never ourselves.
I never weep over lost money, for I figure I’d rather go to the poorhouse once than go there every day.
I have had a couple of marriages, but like every other woman I had a perfect right to them.
I never ride horseback now because my sympathy with the under-dog is too keen. After we have a gone a few blocks, I always dismount and say to the horse: ‘We’ll walk it together, old dear.
You’re only as good as your last picture.
I’m too homely for a prima donna and too ugly for a soubrette.
In order to represent life on the stage, we must rub elbows with life, live ourselves
I have no patience with women who measure and weigh their love like a country doctor dispensing capsules. If a man is worth loving at all, he is worth loving generously, even recklessly.
Character is what you have when nobody is looking.