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And finally, and most importantly, the next time we go to war, don’t give a specific reason for the war that the left can seize upon and later flog us with it ad nauseam, just do it. Remember, the first rule of Fight Club is that you don’t talk about Fight Club.

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Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don’t they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet.

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The good thing about Pittsburgh, it’s a good place to be raised… it doesn’t tolerate assholes. You’re either a good guy or you’re a bad guy… When I’m in Los Angeles having these incredibly surreal moments where nobody’s saying anything and everybody’s talking incessantly, I always have that Pittsburgh voice in my head – shut up, smile, get the job, move on.

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I find it shocking that anybody can be brought down in D.C. for gossip, ostensibly. I thought that was the coin of the realm there. That’s like getting hit with lightning on a cloudless day.

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Then people ask me if I’m worried about the effects of global warming on my kids. Well, obviously I love my kids and I want them to live to be a 100. So that’s another 1.8. My kids’ kids? Three point six. I’ll just tell them we moved to Phoenix.

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[The Internet] … is an amazing communications tool that’s bringing the whole world together. I mean, you sit down to sign on to America Online in your hometown, and it’s just staggering to think that at the same moment, halfway around the world, in China, someone you’ve never met is sitting at their computer, hearing the exact same busy signal that you’re hearing.

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The way I’ve always governed my life as far as fiscal policy goes is I’m smart enough to know that I’m dumb about it, so I surround myself with smart people in much the same way a hole surrounds itself with a doughnut. I just pay things off. That’s all I do.

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So who’s the big red menace nowadays? Cuba. That’s it? I’m sorry, but it’s hard to whip up any us against them nationalist fervor about a country whose principal export is citizens who can swim.

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There will be select instances where the consumer is interested in paying for premium content. I think it will be difficult to get people to pay for something on the Internet that they can find elsewhere on the Internet for free.

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I preume there are far too many abortions performed in this country. And I also believe that at the end of the day, as much as I might disapprove, none of them are really any of my business.

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Think of Iraq as "East Korea," because it was a shoot the cuffs war for the edification of Kim Jong Il to let him know we’ve now circled the SUVs. Iraq was about breaking adhesions, getting lean, staying frosty – in short, getting ready for the big Doug MacArthur Memorial Cage Match to come.