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I couldn’t make ends meet. I tried Red Lobster. I tried Wal-Mart. I tried all these places and I couldn’t make it. I couldn’t. So, I tried this gentlemen’s club, and, you know, I worked there, and it was just awful in those places. It was terrible.

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Nobody has ever respected me and done things for me and loved me. So when Howard (former husband J. Howard Marshall II) came along, it was a blessing. He is the only person in my life who does not care about what other people say about me. He truly loves me and I love him for it.

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He’s comming to meet me on Sun. Cant wait!!… Please God let him love me!!… This could be it [followed by five happy faces]…. Hes going to publish my pictures Im so glad I didn’t sleep with him either!… I hate for men to want sex all the time. I hate sex anyway. (1992, diary entry as she prepares for a meeting with Paul Marciano, head of Guess.)

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A ghost would crawl up my leg and have sex with me at an apartment a long time ago in Texas. I used to think it was my boyfriend, and one day I woke up and it wasn’t. I was freaked out about it, but then I was, like, ‘Well, you know what? He’s never hurt me and he just gave me some amazing sex, so I have no problem.

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I grew up poor. I had no money. My family was poor. There’s things I wanted to do and couldn’t. I was an abused wife. Just – there’s tons of things that I couldn’t even mention. And for me to come up and to have all of this fame and fortune, it’s just – it is a Cinderella story to me.